What Would Success Look Like?

As I’ve said in past postings, I have a lot of goals and have been unable to accomplish any of them.  I spend a lot of time asking myself why that is.  What would reaching any one of my goals look like?  Where would that leave me?  What would others think?  Would I be happier?  More self-confident?  Just simply feel better about myself?  What would success look and feel like?

Take my goal of being fluent in Spanish?  I know why I want to speak Spanish.  First, it would definitely help me in my work.  Many (most) of my client (or at least their parents) only speak Spanish.  I have interpreters at my disposal but it would be nice if I didn’t have to use them.  Second, if I ever lose my fabulous job, speaking Spanish would definitely help me get a new job.  Third, we travel and we love to travel off the beaten path.  Speaking Spanish would enable us to go more places and go those places more comfortably.

So there’s only benefits to being fluent in Spanish.  There’s really no downside.

I have the opportunity every single day to learn Spanish.  The interpreters at work are more than happy to help me.  These are ladies that I see every single day and am more than comfortable with.  I know that they’re not going to make fun of me in my first attempts as I learn.

Yet, do I practice with them?  Nope.  Do I speak a word of Spanish – even the words I know?  Nope.  O.k., well, I might squeak out a “Buenos Dias” in the morning and an “Adios” when I leave.  But that’s about it.

Why??????

I’ve got absolutely no idea.  But I’m hoping that someday, I’ll know what its like to realize the success of being fluent in Spanish.  I just don’t know how I’m going to get there.