The ongoing narrative in my head is mostly negative. “I screwed that up.” “I should have done that differently.” “I’ll never be able to figure this out.” “I don’t have time for myself.” And so on. In talking to my few friends, it seems that’s common for other women as well. I wish I knew why that was.
It occurred to me the other day that negative self-talk does not have to be the default. I have the power to change the default setting. I can change the messages I tell myself.
I’ve been feeling extremely stuck in my life so I decided that’s a place to start. My first new message is:
“I am not stuck. I have the ability to make change. I can make new choices.”
I followed that up with a few general positive statements:
“I am confident. I am competent. I am smart. I make good decisions. I have the ability to figure things out.”
And then, a few goal-specific items:
“I have the ability to ride my horse. My horse is not beyond me.” And . . . “I have the ability to learn Spanish. I will practice Spanish and the learning curve will be o.k.”
It might sound ridiculous but I literally repeat these statements to myself over and over and over . . . when I first get up in the morning, several times throughout the day, and when I get in bed at night.
I think its making a difference. I’ve felt a bit more motivated, gotten a bit more accomplished, and well . . . I just feel better, like, more able to overcome obstacles. The challenge is going to be making it stick. I’m usually good at things for a day or two. So, the fact that I’ve reached day 3 or 4 here is an accomplishment in itself.
Happiness is hard but I’m convinced that its worth it.