I’m on Day 3 of a new get healthy plan. This one is called “Game On!”. Its a program which focuses on all aspects of health – diet, sleep, water consumption, exercise, making a new healthy habit and letting go of an old, unhealthy, habit.
Plus, its all done in a friendly competition!
“Kick your friend’s butt while shrinking your own.” Ha! I love that. The competition goes for 5 weeks. A friend of mine set it up; she’s done it before. We have 5 or 6 teams of 4 or 5 people each. So far, its been great! Every day, all day, there are a ton of emails that go around offering support, encouragement, tips, what’s working and what’s not.
So far, what’s great about it is that I feel like I have a plan for being healthy every day. If I need some help or inspiration, there’s about 25 people who are ready and willing to lend a hand. Plus, there’s the aspect of not wanting to let my team down.
I really need to do something because I weigh more than I ever have before. I know 138 at 5’4″ isn’t the end of the world but a lot of my clothes are not fitting. And I just haven’t felt well. I’m tired a lot; I get out of breath easily. And that’s not how I want to live.
I know I’m only on Day 3 of 5 weeks but I feel like this just might do the trick!
This is like my third attempt at this blog post. Ugh.
It was going to be about learning to be better to myself. But it was sounding lame, cliche, and uninteresting.
Its hard to be good to yourself. I’m not sure why, but it is. I’m trying. Today, I sat down at 11:00 and took twenty minutes to eat a lovely peach and some Marin Cheese Co. brie on my back porch. I love sitting on my back porch, looking out over the vineyard, sipping my coffee.
Twenty minutes just for myself seems so indulgent. But I’m beginning to understand that its really not. Just like texting with my friends and posting in my blog is not indulgent. Neither is taking the dog on a walk or working my horses.
Collapsing at work and having my doctor tell me that I need to follow up with a cardiologist (finally got an appointment) sort of puts things into perspective. But I’ve been surprised that I’m finding it so hard to be kinder to myself. I always have wondered about the people who are told, “If you don’t make lifestyle changes, you’re going to die” but fail to change. And, here I am . . . one of them!!
Its really easy to blame others: “My husband doesn’t help enough.”; “My job is too stressful.”; “I’m so busy with the kids’ activities.” But, realistically, it comes down to me, myself and I – my choices, my decisions and how I deal with the things life throws at me.
I can talk to my husband about our division of tasks. I can have my kids help out more and take on more responsibility because they are 12 and 14 years old now. I can find healthy ways to deal with my job and other stress. I can take a look at our household schedules and see if it can be managed differently.
And I can stop feeling guilty about 20 minutes on my back porch, drinking good coffee and reading the paper.
I have reached complete overwhelm. I made a new to do list, hoping that would re-focus and organize me. It just made it worse. Looking at my schedule the next few days and the list, I’ve got absolutely no idea how its going to get done. And these are things that really have to be done. I can’t just not return work phone calls! And we have our annual end of the school year swim party on Saturday. I can’t just ignore that!!! I’m kind of freaking out. I really would like to just sit here at my desk and color.
My dog is sitting next to me, whining. He wants to go outside and play or go on a walk or something. I wish he would be quiet. The property isn’t 100% fenced so he’s not allowed to go out without me. And apparently, for some reason, sitting on the back deck isn’t good enough for him at the moment.
I must have put on three different outfits this morning while trying to get dressed for work. One skirt that I haven’t worn for awhile didn’t fit. I mean, like didn’t fit to the point where I wondered when it had ever fit me. That was upsetting. Just before I tried to get dressed I was sort of complimenting myself for having things pretty together. So much for that.
The other day there was a lizard in the house, right outside my closet. I am TERRIFIED of lizards. Its been that kind of week.
Of course, today the kids get out of school early so I have even less time.
I’m drowning in end of the school year activities.
So, for the next 20 minutes, until I have to go pick kids up from school, I’m going to fall back on my strategy for when life gets like this, which is “Do Something . . . Anything.” I’ve found that if I just start going down the to do list, its easier to continue. Starting is the hard part. It doesn’t really matter exactly what I do; anything is better than sitting here and staring out my window.
Here I go . . . something . . . anything. Just start somewhere.
My day was going along o.k. until I had to listen to another tirade from my husband about how the world is ripping him off. Ugh.
I promised myself that I was not going to use my new blog here to complain about my husband. And I fully intend on keeping that promise. So, let’s just say that he tends to be more pessimistic than I am. I choose to believe in the good in people. Maybe I’m naive in that regard but really, its what gets me through my day at times.
Believing in people . . . and sparkly purple toenails. That’s what I’ve got to rely on sometimes. And sometimes, when people aren’t quite doing it for me, it just comes down to “oh, hey, look, my toenails are sparkly purple and that’s happy.”
My 11 year old daughter picked out the polish that resulted in this crazy amount of sparkle. Its a result of these polishes:
I call them my “Vegas show girl toes”. And that’s happy.
Other happy things are the fact that my horses were delighted to find that my kids had made large ponds in my arena. The horses thought these were super fun to play in.
Watching horses splash in puddles is happy. If I actually rode in my arena (rather than just turning my horses out in it), I might have been irritated that the kids made large ponds. But, since I don’t ride in it (that’s a story for another day), and the horses thought the ponds were fun, well, that’s happy.
So, there, negative thoughts from husband’s tirade . . . . BE GONE!!!!
Replaced by the happiness brought to me by sparkly purple toes, horses splashing in puddles, and a general belief that most people are o.k.