I have to start by saying that I absolutely love my hairstylist. She’s been cutting my hair for pretty much all of the 20 years I’ve lived here. She’s the only one who has ever cut my kids’ hair. I’ve never, ever hated my hair after she does it. (O.k., there was one time when she gave me a new cut, we both looked at it, and said, “Ummm . . . No!!!”)
I like the other stylists in the salon (well, one of them talks too loud for me but that’s my personal issue). I usually look forward to getting my hair cut but, in the end, my time there depresses me.
Its the conversations the other stylists and customers have! They complain about their ex’s or gush about their new crush. They complain about their bodies or talk about their new makeup. They discuss whatever they’re watching on TV and complain about cramps and bloating. They talk about their terrible teenagers.
Mostly, I sit there and feel terribly out of place. Like I just can’t relate. Don’t get me wrong . . . I love being a woman. I love dressing nicely and putting on makeup. I love getting my hair done.
But I’m happily married. For the most part, I’m ok-ish with my body. I mean, I think I need to lose 10 pounds but when I say that other women tell me that’s absurd. I’m super sorry to say it but I’ve never had cramps or been bloated. I had easy pregnancies. I don’t watch much on TV (we gave up cable because no one in our family watched anything on it) and my teenagers are really amazing kids.
And why do women complain so much???
I don’t mind commiserating. And I don’t mind listening. But I just don’t feel like I can really contribute without coming off as snobby or like I have all the answers. But I don’t!!! I don’t think I’m snobby and I certainly don’t have all the answers.
Maybe part of it is that I’m fairly private so even if I did have cramps, I wouldn’t share it with the hair salon.
And again . . . the complaining! Am I the only one who feels like so many women just sit around and bitch to each other. I definitely believe there’s a need and a time and a place for that but can’t we get past that and encourage, support, and uplift each other rather than just agreeing that everything sucks?? O.k., so maybe everything does suck but what are we going to do about it?? And wouldn’t it be better if we did that together??
I just want to belong. And I don’t have all the answers. And I’m sorry you have cramps.