What’s Holding Us Back?

The other day, some of the ladies at work were, yet again, discussing their need to lose weight.  I laughed and said, “Yeah, you guys will lose weight when I speak Spanish.”  (Its o.k., we have that type of relationship so they weren’t offended.)

But it really got me thinking . . . this is a conversation I have with so many of my women friends.  The desire to do this or that . . . and the absolute lack of sustained progress.

It really got me thinking . . . What is holding us back??

In my last post, I asked “What would success look like?”  The question of “What’s holding us back?” is a little different.

I posed that question to my good friend and she answered, “Fear.”

O.k., but fear of what exactly??

I asked my Mom.  She answered that she doesn’t like to be noticed so she thinks that’s what’s holding her back from losing weight, dressing better, etc. . . . someone might then notice her if she were attractive.  To which I replied, “Well, maybe people are noticing now and thinking how frumpy you look.”  (O.k., so maybe that wasn’t very nice of me but I think it was a legitimate point.)

Back to fear.  I know that for me and Spanish (because that’s an easy example), I have the immediate fear that people are going to think I’m stupid or sound funny in my beginning attempts at speaking Spanish.  Logically, I know the people I can practice with will absolutely not make fun of me but the fear is still there.

But what’s beyond that?  What if I did accomplish some of my goals?  Would I be able to internalize that success?  Would I be more confident?  Would people then expect more of me?  And, to my Mom’s point, would people notice me more?  Am I comfortable with that?  What would my husband say if I stepped out of my comfort zone and did well?  What would my friends say?  (I know “true” friends support you no matter what, blah, blah, blah).

Aaaahhhh . . . so much unknown!!!!  So maybe my friend was right.  Maybe it is fear that’s holding us back, plain and simple.

 

What Would Success Look Like?

As I’ve said in past postings, I have a lot of goals and have been unable to accomplish any of them.  I spend a lot of time asking myself why that is.  What would reaching any one of my goals look like?  Where would that leave me?  What would others think?  Would I be happier?  More self-confident?  Just simply feel better about myself?  What would success look and feel like?

Take my goal of being fluent in Spanish?  I know why I want to speak Spanish.  First, it would definitely help me in my work.  Many (most) of my client (or at least their parents) only speak Spanish.  I have interpreters at my disposal but it would be nice if I didn’t have to use them.  Second, if I ever lose my fabulous job, speaking Spanish would definitely help me get a new job.  Third, we travel and we love to travel off the beaten path.  Speaking Spanish would enable us to go more places and go those places more comfortably.

So there’s only benefits to being fluent in Spanish.  There’s really no downside.

I have the opportunity every single day to learn Spanish.  The interpreters at work are more than happy to help me.  These are ladies that I see every single day and am more than comfortable with.  I know that they’re not going to make fun of me in my first attempts as I learn.

Yet, do I practice with them?  Nope.  Do I speak a word of Spanish – even the words I know?  Nope.  O.k., well, I might squeak out a “Buenos Dias” in the morning and an “Adios” when I leave.  But that’s about it.

Why??????

I’ve got absolutely no idea.  But I’m hoping that someday, I’ll know what its like to realize the success of being fluent in Spanish.  I just don’t know how I’m going to get there.